5 Lies Moms Tell

rainMoms are so awesome. And courageous. And unselfish. And, well, liars.

{Don’t look at me like that.}

If you are a mom and have ever said:

I didn’t want a piece of pie, anyway.

That is the best picture anyone has every drawn.

No, I’m not too tired to do (fill in the blank.)

Then, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Join me over at Moms Magazine and I’ll tell you five other lies that moms tell.

See you there! {Feel free to like/share the post.} :)

*What lies do you tell?*

Mom Talk Monday: A Woman in the Word

I’ve been thinking about Satan. {Pleasant topic, right?}

If you take Job 1:7 and 1 Peter 5:8, what you have is one evil being who goes from place to place looking for people to torment. Just this past week, a lady in our small group made the statement, “Satan isn’t omnipresent like God.” I have to tell you, I had never thought of that before.

Satan is not omnipresent. He is only at one place at a time.

Satan is not omniscient. He does not know everything. He does not read minds.

scripture doodle

It’s easy to build him up in our minds until we make him something more. Just the other day, while sitting around the dinner table, my five year old asked, “Mom, do you know everything?” To which I replied, “Yes, honey. Yes, I do.” To her small child way of thinking, her mama knows everything and can do anything.

A couple of Sundays ago, Pastor Jason walked by me and stopped to comment on something I had put on Facebook that week. As he walked away, my ten year old said, “Wow, Mom. You’re like famous.” To which I replied, “Yes, honey. Yes, I am.”

My point is that we do not always have an accurate view of things. We need to know Satan’s tricks and I can tell you one of his best ones. He is observant and he is patient. {Okay, technically, that’s two tricks. Whatevs.}

psalm 16

The two verses mentioned above tell us that he is walking and watching. To and fro. Back and forth. What is he looking for?

He is looking for the right time to strike.

Now when the devil had ended every temptation, he departed from Him until an opportune time. – Luke 4:13

He had every intention of coming back. That is why Paul warns over and over that believers should be on guard and should stand firm. It’s why you have to know what you believe before the struggles come. It’s why you have to decide, on the front end, who you are going to trust when that trial comes. Because Satan is waiting for a good time. He is always planning his next attack. What is he looking for?

He is looking for you to be a little too busy for a quiet time.

He is looking for you to begin sleeping in instead of going to church.

He is looking for your Bible to get a little dusty.

He is looking for you to be a little overwhelmed with your responsibilities.

He is looking for a time when you are not as close to the Lord as you should be or have been. He knows when you’re tired or stressed or feeling guilty. So, he will try to make you feel a little more tired, a little more stressed, and a little more guilty. He likes to exaggerate feelings. Suddenly, a bad day seems to feel like a bad life. A bad mothering moment makes you feel like a bad mom. A fight with your spouse or parent or friend seems like the end of the world. A night or two alone turns into a heavy loneliness.

post it

As moms, Satan sees those times when you feel overwhelmed. He sees that you yelled at your kid and are feeling a little guilty. He knows that the note your kid’s teacher sent home made you feel like a failure. He sees the way you lost your mind because your child bit into a pack of hot dogs at Walmart and you didn’t know what to do because you weren’t even going to buy hot dogs but you bought them anyway and then you got home and realized you didn’t even have any hot dog buns and could this day be any more awful. {Oh, wait. That was me. Hello, exaggeration, though.}

Please, ladies, stay in the Word. Not out of legalism. Not so you can check it off of a list. Not so you can take a cool picture and post it on Instagram. Stay in the Word because Satan is watching for a time when you’re weak. And a woman in the Word is no weak woman.

A Mama is a Mama is a Mama

I saw your stilettos as soon as they entered the room. I was hunched over trying to retrieve my two year old from under someone else’s chair. I could not help but notice the mulch from the playground stuck to the bottom of my dirty tennis shoes.

emily

I sat up and took notice of your sleek, pencil skirt and crisp, white blouse. I found myself slouching even more than usual in a feeble attempt to disappear into the metal chair. Suddenly, I felt very uncomfortable in my t-shirt with the spit up on the shoulder and my nylon pants with the stain on one leg.

You were staring at your phone as if some urgent email or time sensitive text was going to come through at any moment. I glanced at mine knowing that the only email I had received in three days was from the local shoe store advertising a “buy one get one half off” sale. I bought four pair – none of which were stilettos and two of which had cartoon characters.

coffee

Your floral perfume made its way across the room. It was light and feminine. Meanwhile, I smelled like a day at the park with a little regurgitated formula thrown in for good measure.

Your phone rang and I listened as you chatted with a friend. You discussed the latest happenings at the office and made plans for another girls night out. I wasn’t jealous. I just had a girls night out last week. Well, technically, it was just a trip to the grocery store and there weren’t any other girls with me. It was dark outside, however, and I did bump into a few other ladies who had apparently also sneaked out for an after-bedtime trip to the Walmart.

20120920-011548.jpg

For just a moment, you closed your eyes. You looked tired. I knew I was tired. Then, you took a drink of the coffee in your hand. I looked down at the coffee in mine. We made eye contact and exchanged a tired-mama smile. As we drank our coffee – you with your manicure and make-up and me with my broken nails and pony tail – I realized that you and I are just not that different.

Solidarity, sister.

Children are Superheroes

I’m convinced children are born with superpowers.

They have super sonic hearing. You can open a candy bar wrapper while hiding in the bathroom with the shower on and they can hear it, come running and be banging on the door before your first bite. They wear cloaks of invisibility. They can vanish into thin air at the sound of you pulling a full bag of trash out of the can.

sara popsicle

They wander aimlessly through a house overflowing with toys, electronics and art supplies complaining of boredom. Yet, at the mention of chores, they can entertain themselves outside for hours with a stick and an old coffee can. Nothing grosses them out. They eat boogers, chew gum that has been dropped on the ground and share toothbrushes. {But green peas? Even superheroes have their limits.}

snow day sophia

They know the name and story behind every stuffed animal, but they can’t remember where they left their homework. {Lucky for them, moms are superheroes, too, and have the ability to locate anything, anywhere, at anytime.}

They have the power to make you do the most ridiculous things like rush to their school in your pajamas because they forgot some very important something that you told them to put in their bag the night before. With a sad little whimper, they have you crawling on your stomach under a stranger’s car in the Walmart parking lot because they dropped their very-favorite-can-not-live-without-it toy. {Also known as a plastic piece of garbage that came in a happy meal that they will lose in the car before you even make it home.}

Lost River Cave 1They flash a sweet smile and, before you know it, you are scratching their bellies and sharing your Starbucks. {Stop the madness!} You give up sleep, showers and sanity. They cause gray hair, weight gain and stretch marks but are so thoroughly enjoyable that you have another. {And another and another and another – maybe that was just me.}

Without any effort at all, they teach you humility, sacrifice and a crazy, unconditional, will-walk-over-a-floor-littered-with-legos-and-Barbie-shoes kind of love.

It’s true. Children are superheroes. They can solve puzzles, climb trees and hear an adult conversation a mile away. Now, if they could just figure out how to keep their room clean.

Thoughts on Makeup and Fashion From Someone Who Knows Nothing About Makeup and Fashion

I would be the first to admit that I know little to nothing about make-up and fashion. From what I read, however, I gather that I am supposed to make my waist appear smaller, my lips appear plumper and my eyes appear smoky. I am to wear blush to give the illusion of rosy cheeks and mascara to make my lashes seem longer. Overall concealer will hide any wrinkles, blemishes or signs of life. If, when I look in the mirror, the woman staring back looks nothing like me? Voila! Success.

For quite some time I have been admiring women with their leggings. They look classy and comfortable all at the same time. Some tall boots and a long sweater and it may just be the perfect outfit. Finally, I gather the courage to try it myself. I wear it. I love it. Suddenly, the internet is all abuzz. Apparently, the current train of thought is that proper women do not wear leggings. Drats. There I am – late to the party again and wearing the wrong thing.

It’s all so confusing.

You can wear leggings if your sweater is a certain length. If your sweater is too short, then you must wear blue jeans. Don’t wear mom jeans, however, because folks will laugh and don’t wear white ones because it isn’t Labor Day. Or do you not wear white jeans after Labor Day? Or does that only apply to white shoes?

And, if you do wear white jeans, make sure your panty line doesn’t show because that is an even bigger no-no than the white jeans worn at the wrong time. Whatever you do, do not wear the white jeans and the white shoes at the wrong time because you will probably be banned from all social gatherings except play dates. The plus side is that, on play dates, you can wear your mom jeans.

I bought something recently and a free sampling of make-up items came with it. There was a small tube of lip gloss – bright red, of course. A small thing of nail polish was included. Then, there was this.

makeup

Apparently, I am supposed to use this on my eyes? Call me crazy, but I can not think of any part of my body that I would want my husband to look at and say, “Oh, I see you used the chubby stick.”

Then, again, what do I know?

If anyone needs me, I’ll be the one with the out-of-season white pants and the chubby eyes.